Where Do I Turn?

We aren’t made to go through life alone. I think you identified the ones who love you – God and family. Please let them – it will give you all joy and peace and perhaps begin to heal old wounds.

For me, I always know God is the only one who is true. When depression starts to lie to me and tell me there is no hope, no purpose; when I hate everyone who loves me because I’m looking through the shit colored lens of depression, when thoughts that I don’t want to live creep into my consciousness, then I remember that God is true and these are all lies. Depression (like Satan) is a master deceiver. Whatever is good, and lovely, and hopeful, and loving is from God.

He has literally kept me alive and kept me in my marriage when I wanted to leave both.

[I wrote this a couple of days ago in the comments to a fellow blogger – thought I’d share it with you]

14 comments

  1. Stinking thinking. That was what my therapist called the thoughts that ruminated thru my brain while I struggled with depression. It was most prominent at night. Sleep eluded me because my brain wouldn’t shut down.

    Keep working at it. It really does get better. I remember thinking it would never subside. BUT it did. Understanding depression was helpful in recovering, as was medication, a great therapist, time and sadly for me, divorce. It’s 10 years past now and I have a great life and have some strong memories of that dark time. I hope to never return but know it could happen again.

    Hang in there my friend.

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  3. Chris,
    Like most things that are worthwhile, life is difficult and challenging. The skill is found in taking one step backwards and looking at all the beauty and opportunities available. I believe life is similar to the children’s magazine called “Highlights.” One page has a picture of a scene. At a glance, it simply looks like a picture. When you look closely and begin seeking to find the “hidden objects” within the picture you begin to realize how the picture effectively camouflages these hidden objects. Our happiness many times is camouflaged in life’s giant picture. Those who give up on searching, are only capable of reaching a certain level of contentment. Those who search and recognize the joy in the journey alone gain a different perspective making it easier to see the “hidden” answers they seek in life. I have found this view of life has helped me achieve a greater level of purpose and happiness. I hope this view of life helps you focus on achieving your purpose and passion in life.

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    1. Great perspective! Today we leave home to drive across country to drop our son off at Purdue for his freshman year! There is a great big picture all by itself, but in it are embedded so many great memories from yesterday and so many great opportunities for tomorrows.

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  5. i can’t comment on them all, cuz really, this is getting ridiculous. but chris, your writing, your story resonates with me…deeply. this post…well…all the words have left me. and i’m sure you understand.

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