I had a glimpse of feeling better, last week and even earlier this week I was feeling great. Beginning Wednesday, I started to feel down again, and today I am basically staring at the wall in my office. I have a lot to do, but no focus, and honestly hardly care.
It’s not sad that I feel. I’m two parts apathy and one part lethargy (or dazed) with just a pinch of frustration. I cannot get this under control.
I had a lot going on this past week relatively speaking, so maybe this accounts for the crash now. But compared to the Chris that used to exist, I haven’t been busy or productive or excited in way too long to be healthy.
I want to go to bed – not to sleep, just to lay there. Hoping the weekend is . . . what? I have no hope for the weekend, nor do I even care that it’s Friday afternoon.
I hope this puts a smile on your face: YOU feel GREAT comparitively speaking 🙂
Looking for Chris 
Not sure it’s possible to get under control if it’s your body’s way of telling you something’s not right. Can you chip away at what the message is? Someone wise once told me to pray for God to take the scales from my eyes to help me see clearly…. passing that advice on to you. Good luck to you.
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I must have really felt crappy- I didn’t respond to any comments on this post. So much has happened I. Both out lives in the last 2 months!! What a summer!!
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may God fill you with so much joy! take care.
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Thanks for your encouragement. I didn’t respond at the time (given the nature of the post it’s not surprising I guess) but I’m sure I appreciated your support on a hard day. Thank you a little late 😇
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I mentioned “baggage” in my ROOT CAUSE post today. Maybe deep down in your core there is emotional baggage that interferes (temporarily) with drive and energy. Emotional baggage can wear the heck out of you. Sometimes reaching within and letting these feelings surface relieves a weight you’ve been carrying. At the very least, it might help jump start your drive and commitment to yourself.
Hoping this weekend gives you a chance to recover your passions for life. Be patient. You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
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A little late, but Thank you for your comments above. I’m just reading through old posts and saw I didn’t respond to you. Today your advice rings true, as my wife and I have gotten our communication under control it has affected my mod positively! I continue in regular therapy!
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i just lol’ed. i’m sorry. i know this post isn’t funny. i laughed because i had an appointment with my ‘friend’ today and I described my days just like you did above. i’ve been laying (not sleeping) in bed ever since. i’m obviously laying here reading through your blog like a stalker…i promise i’m not a stalker. sorry for blowing up your notifications. please don’t feel like you have to reply back to all my rambling comments.
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It made my day to see 100 little Rachel faces pop up in my notifications. Lol
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