Nut House: Prelude

This will make for some interesting reading fellow bloggers and sanity enthusiasts. I’m off to the nut house!! 

I met a few times this week with my ‘friends’ (read:therapists – yes I have more than one) who have agreed that an inpatient treatment program is the next & best course of action for yours truly. The diagnosis is major depressive disorder and probably some PTSD.

  

Other than my blog, a lot of reading, and an occasional run, I have basically stopped functioning. I seem to be living in a world between here and there. 

I like interacting with you, fellow bloggers and compassionate souls, because you are not real and yet so very real at the same time. Our intimacy is comforting . . . and safe.You don’t ask more than I can give, but you acknowledge me and encourage me and make me laugh and sometimes cry – but with you the crying is ok. 

And I don’t actually cry . . . Because I can’t. 

Still trusting God, and leaning on His grace.

Stay tuned . . . 

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17 comments

      1. wow. i’m so glad you’re being taken seriously. and i really hope this helps you feel better. it will. you will feel better. i have hope. ๐Ÿ’›

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You know what? I hope you can have a good cry there. Some of my favorite people have been guests at The Nut House, including me, almost, once. You’ll charm your fellow guests and they’ll charm you, as is your way. Keep seeking a way to be at peace with the Chris you are, who is complete and lovable right now. I hope you are able to keep in touch, but if not, we’ll be here when you come back.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I really like you Chris and I don’t even know you. You’re trying really hard to keep a lot of people happy – wife, family, God, job, therapists and anyone else who is passing. Still catching up on your posts so may yet come across it but what are you doing that makes you happy? I wish you love and contentment and sending you a big hug, hope you find what you are looking for ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s the great question: what makes me happy? When I find that I will find Chris!!

      Thank you so much for your kind words. You are right I spend a lot of time taking care of others. I find satisfaction and meaning in that, but I think I’ve failed to draw good lines of separation to protect myself.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’ve done it myself. Perhaps we take care of others because it’s easier and seemingly more rewarding than trying to take care of ourselves. Remember the oxygen mask instructions they give you on an aircraft – in case of emergency, place your own mask on first before trying to help others. Have you arrived at your ’emergency’ yet? Find your happy Chris, you’ve earned it.

        Like

  3. Given the pictures included in your last few posts, it’s clear your sense of humor is still working! And that’s a good thing as it usually gets lost temporarily in the deep throes of depression. Cheers my WordPress friend. Cheers to the weird intimacy created by strangers who really aren’t…

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I like your humor! I’m a big reader and quotes often cut right to my soul. Think you might like this one I have saved to my desktop?

        “Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.โ€

        ~Osho, Everyday Osho: 365 Daily Meditations for the Here and Now

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