I’d Like to be a Quitter

I’ve started to write about drinking before, but it just seemed too serious. More serious than the marriage counseling or depression. So . . .  I guess I’m not quite ready to admit I MIGHT have reached problem proportions with drinking. I’m talking alcohol here. But I will write about coffee too down below

On alcohol:

  • Do I drink alone? Yes, normally 
  • Do I hide it sometimes from others? Yes
  • Did I wake up several months ago at 4am on a bench I sat on the night before to call a cab a 1/4 mile from the hotel? Yes. (I’m 45 years old – really?)
  • Do I think about drinking every day? Yes ( do I drink every day? no. But I’d like to).
  • What other questions do I need to ask myself?

I started the year not drinking – I knew I needed it. From Jan 2 to Super Bowl Sunday I made it. Who can watch the big game without tipping back a couple of cold beers – UnAmerican right? 

Then it was Mexico in March – all inclusive hotel – I had actually negotiated that week into the deal back in December before I agreed with myself not to drink for the year. Interesting

After that, the plan just sort of fell to the wayside. I don’t drink every day. When I do I usually have about 3-4 drinks (whatever, I love beer, Cabernet, and bourbon, but I’ll drink triplesec from the bottle if that’s what we have.)

I also drink a LOT of coffee. About a pot before work. Then I hit the Kuerig about 3-5 times a day during the work day. 

I’ve noticed when I drink I usually feel very bad the next day (does it seem a little crazy to swallow my Prozac at night with a cold beer?)  I feel bad, not like guilty or hungover, but depressed like I’d rather lot be alive on that particular day. Sometimes I feel like crying (but I don’t). This seems to coincide with the day after I have had even a couple of drinks.

So fellow bloggers and delicious beverage enthusiasts. I QUIT!! 

Tomorrow I’ll write about my savage caffeine headache! 

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20 comments

  1. Alcohol can be a nasty crutch when times get tough (believe me I know), glad to see you are getting out ahead of it and doing something about it. If you ever feel like not living don’t hesitate tor reach out to me, been there myself and it’s not pretty.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Chris, I have battled addiction, I have done it 2 different ways, I have done it my way and I have done it God’s way, my way did not work out so well, I would gain ground only to slip up time and time again. I turned to God finally, and God says in His word “if you seek me you will find me if you seek me with all your heart I will be found by you” ( Jeremiah 29) I found Him and He set me free, mine was a walk through freedom, some people experience an immediate freedom, however the point is when God does it, it sticks. The bible says it this way “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labour in vain who build it…” Psalm 127:1a I would love to see you walk through this successfully, the best part about putting it out there is the prayers you (are) will be receiving, I am praying for you. God and His help and wisdom are there for you, lean on Him and He will see you through. God bless you Chris!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much. I have a relationship with Jesus, but I had yet to lay this at his feet. That’s where I finally came to yesterday. I have been battling depression on my own and not really given it to Him. All prayer appreciated!!!

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  3. I too have an addictive personality. My heart is with you. I can’t help feeling like, though, since I’ve found your great blog, that you’re running too fast. You’re trying to improve yourself, which is admirable, but maybe not everything all at the same time. It seems like coming to a screeching halt might be a place to start. Stop and take a breath. Look at all these people who care about you ,and your family cares, etc. “God” whoever or whatever he/she/it is, cares even more than we do. I’m kind of late to commenting on this blog. I know that you were going to try to turn toward faith. I hope you are in a better place now, and remember, lots of people care about you as a depressed, marriage-troubled, addicted to alcohol at the moment, beautifully open and funny person. You shine right off a page, Chris. Take a deep breath and let us know how you do being a quitter : – )

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Who thanks for such a wonderful complement (or is it compliment I can never remember). Your kindness and heartfelt concern is to appreciated to me! Thank you. The psychiatrist the first time I talked to him about depression said I need a year on the beach. Don’t I wish!!

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  4. Hey! I dropped by to check out your blog after you liked one of my posts. I must say it was…well…I can’t find a good enough word, let me just say that it is something that will stay with me.
    The best thing about this article is that you came up with the thought of quitting by yourself. That is the step that most of us find the hardest. I’m not addicted to alocohol, but I do have an addictive personality and for me, admitting to myself that enough is enough is the hardest part. So, kudos to you and all the best.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. oh chris…this is right where i am. the beginnings of a problem. my hubby and friends minimize it every time i try to talk about it. but i know i’m in trouble. that list you made…same here. i don’t have meds to dull the ache, so i do it with alcohol. it scares me how much i need it.

    Liked by 1 person

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