A Week Alone and Marriage Counseling #5

Good morning fellow bloggers and marriage enthusiasts! I am quite behind on marriage counseling updates for two reasons: 1) the Week of Recovery and 2) the Wizard of WordPress

Being out of town for a Week of Recovery with Marie, and then coming back to technical difficulties caused by the Wizard of WordPress, who later fixed my problems (just solidifying my reliance on him/her  – The Wizard sometimes used male and sometimes female names – so I am not sure what is up with that?), all put me a bit behind – not to mention the DOUBLE HOLIDAY of Independence Day and Cinco de Julyo!

Back to the Counseling:

Marie and I had almost an entire week alone together on the road at a conference in Cincinnati and visiting family in Indiana. In 23 years of marriage, since Marie came as a package deal with two kids, we have had precious little time alone. I think this was only the 3rd time in 23 years we have had more than a full day or two alone!!

I’m glad to say it was very refreshing. We had a great time just hanging out. We ate and drank a lot, laughed, made love, walked, and talked, and read and prayed together. It was just what we needed at just the right time!!

The first day back, we had Counseling Session #5!! As I’ve said before, we have LISTS! But did we go back to them? NO! The therapist just started, “So what can I help you with today?” like we were ordering at McDonald’s or something. Since we were still on ‘vacation high,’ it was a slow start and just chit-chatted for a while. We have a LOT of issues to work through, so I don’t want to spend valuable therapy time just chit-chatting.

But leave it to the professionals, it got DEEP – fast.

We had a very productive session. I almost started crying telling Marie how lonely I have been and needing her to listen to some of the things on my heart and to just spend time with me like she did this week. I know she needs the same from me.

Like all parents, we have a busy house!!  Plus, I was away due to the military for 2 of the last four years. This does not lend itself to spending quality time together!! I also am very much to blame for pulling even farter away during deployments. It doesn’t matter that we KNOW how to be married, we have not been DOING what we need to do to be married and do it well.

The crux of it is this, just what God said to Adam, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen 2:18). It is a curious fact how a house can be filled with activity and people, and still there is loneliness – immense, deep, dark, depressive, loneliness. We are discovering how, in sometimes very subtle ways, we have been neglectful an even condescending of the others’ deep need for connection, communication and love.

We are a long way from reaching the destination, but I feel like finally we are on the right path again. I feel like I want to stay, like we can be good again.

Session #6 tomorrow, stay tuned (yes, I’m a bit behind on this update – sorry)



  1. Stay true to yourself and your family and you can’t go wrong. You have the passion and the motivation; two of the most difficult things to acquire. Finding and releasing emotional baggage takes a huge amount of weight off your shoulders. It requires THE most difficult skills, PATIENCE and TIME. Practice and you will succeed.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It is worth it when there is love, I wrote my blog titled Dear Husband when we were going through stuff. It helped me put thing into perceptive. I have to make myself simplify my feelings sometimes to really know whats important. Do i love my husband, yes. Do I want him to be happy, yes. Then I realise this is ultimately down to me. No one wants to know who unhappy they make you feel, it makes them feel they have failed. I deiced my happiness was up to me not my husband. Now I would never write that on my blog ha ha. But I finding yours very interesting. You guys sounded like you had a great day I hope you have more great days.


I'm an open book - would love to hear your thoughts!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s