I guess my last post was fact filled, but sterile. Here’s how I feel about it:
I left our 2nd marriage counseling appointment feeling hurt. I was quite frankly surprised that Marie was surprised at my list from our homework. How could we be married 23 years and she not have an idea why I am not happy!?!?
How can you sit there and defend yourself instead of just try to listen to my heart? You say I don’t share my feelings with you, but when I try you stomp on me am tell me I wrong! Do you see the futility in this?
You say my good qualities are my gentleness and kindness as a father and husband. So why do you think I would purposely try to say something to make you look bad? Do you think I would intend to hurt you or say something that might be hurtful without careful consideration? I am such a sincere and honest person. I absolutely know how to express myself in honest ways. I easily share my heart with people.
I can’t share my heart with you…
I am telling myself, and I HOPE it is true, that though she was defensive, she heard me. I hope she heard me. Please, God, let her hear me! I don’t want to spend another 23 years with a glass half empty wife.
I am sad, and lonely.