Blank paper filled with emotion

Languishing, aging in the dusty heat

Tears came as she read, remembering




  1. Hi, I found your blog when you liked a comment of mine on another’s. I read some of your posts and one thing that struck me in your bio is that you know who you are: a husband, a dad, a grandpa, a Soldier, a son, and most importantly to [you], I’m a Christian.

    Depression is very hard – I know through personal experience. The feeling of lows, of apathy, of feeling shallow – somehow real life doesn’t touch you and you can feel lonely even in the midst of a million people.

    I know that it does goes away, but it takes an effort to come out of it. And it’s a slow process – of good days, and bad days, and there wasn’t any single day where I felt like I was “out of it”… it went away slowly more than 5 years. And i don’t think there was anything particular that changed … I had to make a conscious effort to hang on, to understand that depression will not control my life, and to make the decision to stay true to my values and keep living day to day.

    You mentioned something about losing the “old Chris” and being a “new Chris”. I agree and disagree – people change over time, as our experiences shape us and our values. But I do believe we do have to be true to who we are: and for you thats all the things you’ve listed. In depression, we’re often filled with doubt as to what we want in life – after all, if everything was right, shouldn’t we be happy… what’s wrong with me? But if we gave up our core values for the sake of personal happiness during a depressed time, then would we not have given up something we know is GOOD for a cheap thrill? In the midst of chaos, shouldn’t we hold on to what we know is important to us to anchor us through the storm… and in persevering, we will become a better and stronger person – a “new Chris”.

    I hope in your journey, you will hold on to what is dear and important to you, and not make any rash decisions (which by your blogs sounds like you know this). But to stand firm in your faith, and pursue to be a better person – a better husband, better father/grandpa, and a stronger Christian. Find joy in the journey, and keep growing in mind, body and spirit.


    Liked by 2 people

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